My Finger Nails Didn't Grow at All!

"I knew something was wrong. My finger nails didn't grow at all this week!" -Pheobe Buffet

If you didn't know, (and if you didn't know, then you don't know me at all... sad day for the both of us) I love the TV show FRIENDS. And umm... love is an understatement. I own every season of FRIENDS on DVD and I often will quote the show. I even go as far as relating my life moments to FRIENDS... pretty sad actually... oh well.

Well I had one of those moments this week: See there's this FREINDS episode where Rachel and Ross are breaking up and it's really sad and traumatic and Pheobe says, "Oh this is bad. Though, I knew something was wrong, my fingernails didn't grow at all this week!" WELL I had a bit of a stressful week and I was at work and I looked at my fingers and thought, "Weird, my nails are really short. When did I last clip them because I feel like it's been forever." Then this quote of Pheobe's popped into my head! Haha, maybe Pheobe knows something about stress and tension and maybe it really DOES affect the growing capacity of your nails.

Now there's something to think about :) One of my readers should go and research it and comment on this post

Don't Read your "Stats" Tab

To my fellow blogspotters out there:

WARNING: DO NOT READ YOUR STATS TAB
Reading the stats tab in your account information can be depressing and lead to a realization of patheticness. It will show you that you are rarley read which means the majority of the time you are (whispered voice:) talking but really typing to yourself; and all of cyberspace is there or really not there to witness it.
This realization of patheticness may lead to depression, medication, crazy outbursts, eye twitches, continued sessions of talking/typing to yourself, creation of imaginary friends, crazy outbursts of laughter, or DEATH!

You have to make a choice: 1) keep blogging... who cares what people think.
2) Keep blogging with bitter desperation for readers
3) Shut-her-down
or 4) DEATH!

I'm going with 1... it's still fun! and not pathetic

p.s. Disclosure: This is just for laughs... not a pitty party :)

Yeah! What DO you remember?

So the other night I was leaving a meeting for a non-profit organization fundraiser event that I had been at with a friend and her boyfriend. As we were leaving, Mr. Boyfriend invited us to his house for some hot chocolate. I declined and said, "No you two should just go." (Thought I'd let them have some time together) But they both protested so I went in for some hot chocolate.

While we were eating (haha, I mean drinking) hot chocolate his mom came and joined us. Such a sweet lady. Well (not sure how it came up) she said something about how she avoids pain at all cost (Funny, me too) except for child birth (Haven't done that one yet). So then we’re on the topic of child birth. (Oh? ok then)

She proceeds to tell us graphic details about each of her children’s births! Bahahahaha! How my friend and I were able to keep straight faces is beYOND me! She even used phrases like, “When the placenta came out” and “I lost a tube with that one.” LOL! (Not laughing that she lost a tube, laughing at the awkwardness) THEN she turns to me, NOT MY FRIEND who her son is dating but me, and asks if my mother has ever talked to me about my birth and what she has told me AND MY FRIEND SAYS, “Yeah Amy! What DO you remember about your birth!?” LSHMAB-BIRD (Laughed so hard my appendix burst-but it really didn't)

SUCH a sweet lady… funniest/most awkward conversation ever!

What did you say?!

Sing me a song.

Umm ok... IIIIIIIIt's a small world after all! It's a...

No no! Anything but THAT!

hmmm.... I have a lovely bunch of coconuts
deedle dee dee
All here standing in a row
bum bum bum
Big ones, Small ones, SOME AS BIG AS YOUR HEAD!
Ugh, I would never have had to do this of Muffasa was still alive

WHAT DID YOU SAY?!

So Funny, So True

Last night my sister and her family were at our house and we were all just hanging out, chatting and eating food. I was sitting at the kitchen counter and I was playing "Words with friends" on my phone. Well, I asked out loud, "How do you spell 'Triad'?" and before anyone could respond my niece asks, "Shouldn't a grown up know how to spell?!" I laughed SOOOOO hard! It is so true... I should know how to spell.... but hence this is my life's trial. Thank goodness for autotext and spellcheck but even then I seem to make a fool of myself at times... oh wellsies I'm ok with it!

Emily

So I must look like an "Emily" because I get mistakenly called Emily ALL the time. (There even is a secretary at work that always calls me Emily but I don't correct her, in fact I even respond to it so that she's not embarrassed.) But I truly believe it is a curse-thingy. It all started with AFY in July of 2005... (dramatic-memory-fog-effect-fade)

The summer before my senior year of high school one of my friends, Amy, and I. (Now don't get confused, my name is Amy too but when I write out A-m-y I'm referring to my friend Amy.) (Now that we have that cleared up...) Well Amy and I decided instead of doing EFY that summer, we would do AFY (Adventures for Youth); basically you start the day with a devotional and a scripture readying but then we were off to a hike or river rafting or rock climbing, etc. Well at this AFY Amy and I were one of the older ones; in our group there were these two twins that you could kind of guess they narrowly made the age cut off line (they were so sweetly-inoccent). Well for some reason they idolized Amy and I and followed us around like little puppy dogs all week. WELL for some reason the twins thought my name was Emily (They always called Amy, Amy) and it drove me crazy I'd always reply, "It's AMY!" and they would giggle and say, "Oh yeah!" (Seriously! How hard could it be... two girls... same name) Hahaha well, ever since that one week at BYU-I and have been cursed with someone everywhere I go mistaking me as an Emily but now it makes me chuckle and sometimes I correct these people and sometimes I don't.

Illegal vs legal

Today at work, while I ate lunch at my desk, I opened Twitter on my phone. One tweet from KSL said, "House narrowly passes bill 39-35 making it illegal to smoke in cars with kids." Well even though I read this, my brain processed "legal."

I was like, "WHAT?! Really?! Who are these people?!" And then I was like, "I'll tell you who these people are. These people are the ones who stole candy from you in elementary and thought they were so haha funny. These people are the people who park in handicapped parking because even though they've recovered from their injury, they're temporary handicapped pass hasn't expired yet. These people are the type of people who bring a 6 pack to an AA Meeting and don't even consider the stupidity of the act." And then I looked back at the tweet thinking, "They REALLY made that legal, was that necessary?!" And then I read it slowly, (how sad is that), and I saw ILLEGAL! Phew! We're good!

But really... it narrowly passed... wow.