A Minute Is A Very Long Time

Do you ever have little life lessons that never leave you? The day I started 5th grade, many years ago, Mrs. T. told us she wanted us to hold still and not do anything or say anything for an entire minute. That minute was the longest minute of my life; I was very much aware of the time, the stillness of the room and nothing happening. When the minute was up we all erupted into outbursts of, "that was hard!" and "that took forever!"

Once we calmed down, Mrs. T. said, "Now that you realize how LONG one minute can be, I don't want to ever hear you say, 'well there is only 3 minutes left, it's not worth doing that or starting that.' because you can do so much in just one minute."

One more life lesson teaching me to use time wisely (not that I always do it), to make every minute count, and to make the most of, even the tiniest of, things.

Leadership

When I was going to school up at Utah State University I was on the new student orientation team called the A-Team. Eventually on the A-Team I became a Student Coordinator and was a student worker over the A-Team. Our department had a program/class new students could take the week before school began called Connections and each member of the A-Team was a peer mentor for the students in one or two of the classes. As a student coordinator I did not get to be a peer mentor but my job was to be a runner all week long during the class, helping A-Team members where they may need help.

One day, one of our A-Teamers, Spencer, used our buzzers to play a game with his students and then another A-Teamer needed the buzzers right afterwards. Well Spencer and the other A-Team member did not have time to meet up to exchange the buzzers, so I said I would be the in between man for them. When I arrived at Spencer's class I was impressed by the way he interacted with his students, how he reached out to the shy ones, how he got the awkward ones to be part of the group, how he knew all of their names, etc. As we packed up the buzzers together, and his class was headed out the door to a workshop, I told him how great it was that he was doing all the things I just observed and told him what each of them were. His response took me completely surprise. He said, "Amy, I have watched you as my leader and I have watched you do all of those things with the A-Team and I knew I wanted to be a leader like you." I don't tell this story to say, "Hey, in case you didn't know, I am awesome." No, I like to tell this story because it was a good lesson to me that you are always being an example, even when you are not intending to be and there is more than one way to be a leader; even a quiet leader.

Years later, as I have talked about on here, I became the boss of the A-Team and I would tell the A-Team this story as we started a discussion about what leadership. I always loved this discussion because I was in a room of all leaders but leaders in so many different ways, although some did not realize it, and it was fun to see them accept they could each be a leader in their own way and that is what would make them the best leader. (If we were all the same type of leaders, this world would be boring and only a small group would follow).

One of my best A-Team members returned for a second year and when he made a comment in class he said that when he first joined the A-Team he didn't think he was anything compared to the others on the team. This made me smile, because I always knew what an incredible leader he was, but so many of us have been there where we don't believe we can be a leader because we are comparing ourselves to those around us. The cool thing about him is he decided to take the opportunity to learn from those around him but he also held on to his true talents as well. At the end of each "A-Team Year" we have a closing banquet and give out awards, mostly funny awards, but this particular A-Teamer received the traditional Spencer Vernon Banks award which is an award given to the A-Team member who goes above and beyond when helping students and staying continuously until the very last student has been taken care of.

When I hired my A-Team I didn't look for one type of person or leader because that didn't make any sense; this team was a resource for all new students and all new students are all different, thus, I needed a team where there was a variety of leaders so that these students had a higher chance of having someone they could relate to and connect with.

When I taught this leadership discussion, I asked everyone to think for a minute about leaders in their own life that they admire and why. I then asked them to write down the qualities and traits these leaders have and we made a huge list on the board. It was fun to see the huge variety of things written on the board from hard worker to sense of humor to humility to organization and creativity. I then had them all write on a piece of paper the leadership qualities they felt the had and two they wanted to improve or develop.

I always loved this class discussion because it always seemed to spark a flame of hope in each of them because even though they were among the best of the best; they were each there for their individuality and that was a good thing but sometimes they needed the reminder to break the mold because I didn't want molds.

I always ended this discussion telling them a little bit about whichever leadership book I happened to be reading at the time. My favorite was The Servant and it is about what the “true essence” of leadership is. It talks about how it is natural to think that leadership means you have power or you can manipulate others to do what you want them to do but that is not what the true foundation of leadership is. It focuses on leadership having authority which is built (and must be built) by building relationships, showing love, serving others and sacrificing.

I like this idea. I like the idea of selfless leading, I feel it is the most genuine and most effective type of leadership. To me, one of the ways of being a true leader is helping those you lead reach their full potential and what better way to achieve that than bey being selfless. And honestly, the best part of being a leader is getting the opportunity to learn from all of those you are following because each of them are leaders in themselves.

Recognizing the Blessings

I spent a portion of my summer in Thailand on a humanitarian trip. While there I met one incredible woman who was such an example to me of faith, kindness, service, and recognizing the tiniest of blessings in life.

Peuen lives in the Akha Village in the north of Thailand. She is the only member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Later Day Saints in her village and the nearest ward house is 3 hours away in Chiang Mai. She often was a resource, to us, in her village to get projects going and get her community involved; many volunteers called her an angel. Peuen has diabetes and because of it, her health is not always the best but she stays so positive. I would often hear her say things like:

I know I am poor, but I know Heavenly Father will watch out for me.

I rather help others than myself.

Because Peuen did so much for us, we wanted to be able to do something for her and she let us help her plant her field of corn. The day we planted the corn it was incredibly hot; it was probably the most extreme heat I have ever experienced. I still had fun planting but the heat was just an added challenge. At one point my face had turned red from the heat and everyone thought I was sunburned; I wasn't.

While we were planting the corn a cloud covered the sun and Peuen said, "Oh! Heavenly Father knew we were hot, so he gave us shade." I was touched by this comment. How easy it is to look over these small blessings and here a woman, who has very little (in a material perspective), took time to recognize and sweetly acknowledge and thank Heavenly Father.

If you would like to read about my Thailand humanitarian experience, I just posted about it on my travel blog, Postcards From Amy. The blog itself has a few other posts about Thailand as well.

Family Quote Book

In church we had a lesson about journaling or recording your history. One question during the lesson was about how each of us record our history. Comments were: a typical journal, scrapbook, printing emails between missionaries and their family members and putting them into a binder, videos, photo albums, gratitude journal, etc. I started to think about my family as a whole and I would say our history is mostly photo albums. My mom hadn't updated them for quite a few years and so my younger brother didn't even have pictures in the album. When she did update them, we all said, "Nate now exists!"

But there is something else my family does that is small but I think counts as a piece of our history and journaling; we have a family quote book. Whenever someone says something that makes us laugh or is "quote book worthy," we write it in the book. Sometimes at family get-togethers someone will pull out the book and read from the pages and we'll laugh all over again. Not only has it been fun to keep these fun moments captured but it is interesting how just a few words can recall an entire memory.

Here are some favorite quotes (where you didn't have to be there to get it) from the Family Quote Book:

"Shark Attack!... A shark waits for no one." -Nate while dunking me in the ocean while snorkeling

"How do you spell 'triad'?" - Me

"Shouldn't a grownup know how to a spell?" - Kira (niece, 8-years-old at the time)

"That's bologna." - Nate

"Horse bush!" - Mom

"There's a rule. Nobody dies on this trip!" - Megan

"Umm, dad? Is there anything we can do to help? - Me

"Someone could swear for me!" - Dad

"Shit!" - Me

"Nate shops at Express for men!" - Amber

"I have never shopped there!" - Nate

"Yes you have." - Amber

"Once!" - Nate

"Aunt MaryAnne read books growing up... I played teatherball." - Mom

"Bryce, you don't like eggs? But they have great proteins for you." -Amy

"Not me! Eggs kill my brain." - Bryce

"Honey, I love you, but you have been traded." -Bree

"Amy, remind me to tell you about the dream I had about you. It was so sad." -Nate

"Oh no, did I die?!" -Me

"No, worse! I died!" -Nate

"Would you be a sir and pass the juice?" - Nate

Book Review: The Tipping Point

That's right, I have read another book on my book reading list for the year. Fist bump! I read The Tipping Point by Malcolm Gladwell.

This was an interesting book but I was bored at times as well. Some chapters I would found fascinating and then others would drag for me. One problem is the books that pull me in are usually fiction and fantasy and this one is non-fiction, literal, and to the point. The book is about what little things can lead to big changes.

One chapter I found interesting was about Paul Revere and him riding out to warn that the British were coming. What very few know, is that another rider went out with Mr. Revere and he took a different route to help spread the news that much more but nobody knows about him because he was not effective in his ride. The book explained that Paul Revere was very involved in his community in many different types of groups and the other rider only had one group he associated with. The idea was that when we let ourselves expand to many groups (i.e. church, community service group, yoga class, fundraiser for whatever, etc.) you are better known and when a time comes that you need to spread news or rally people together, the more groups you are associated with the more you will have to back you up.

One chapter talked about how information given out sticks in our minds. Are people just hearing the information; or are they remembering it too. The interesting thing about the chapter was they went into depth on Sesame Street and Blues Clues. Sesame Street learned many techniques on how to capture an audience attention and for the audience to learn things but Blues Clues master the information being retained in children. They mastered the stickiness factor. Sesame Street is meant to entertain the parent's of the children (a little) as well as entertain and teach the children. Anyone "grown up" who has ever watched Blues Clues has probably been bored out of their mind and even thought the show was stupid but it pulls kids in. The makers of Blues Clues learned how to pull in the attention of kids by taking out bells and whistles, challenging them, teaching them, and then repeating the episode 4 more times in a row to help it stick. And it worked!

Whenever I read books like this, "You can change the world if you take the right steps," I almost get overwhelmed; like I'm taking on a big task or something. But I decided to take one thing from the book that I want to try and that is to be involved in a variety of ways. Not only to burst out of life "boxes" but also to be able to make a difference if I need to; small or big.

Of all leadership and "making a difference" books I would say to read the book if this is your type of genre to read and your always reading these types of books. But if you are only going to reading one, I would skip this one.

Terrified

Right now, in my life, I am at a crossroads... again. Back in December I quit my job but stayed until we could find someone we all felt good about. This was an extremely hard decision because I loved my job and I loved my student workers even more; but the hours were wearing me down and I didn't like the person I was in my job (tired, snappy, hating the things I used to love, etc.), as well as living my job.

The beginning of May I moved home, after finally finding my replacement, to my parents and started a mini job answering phones at a car dealership while also preparing to go on a humanitarian trip to Thailand. I decided I didn't want to just jump into another job, I wanted to take my time and figure out exactly what I wanted to do next. Plus, I've always wanted to do a humanitarian trip, so why not go on one during a time when I actually have the time to go.

I've been terrified thinking about what I want to do next and all of the ideas seem like a big risk or a huge leap. I then started to think about all of the things I have done in my life that have terrified me to try for but I somehow found the courage to go for it and I have never regretted one of them. Even though I'm still terrified and still have no idea what I really want to do; this was a good reminder that I shouldn't let being terrified stop me from trying. What's the worst that will happen? It won't work out and I'll try another path? Everything I have done so far in my life whether it worked out or not, I learned something from it and wouldn't want to trade the experience. Yeah, I'm getting older and it feels like I should just pick one safe path and stick with it, but then when you think of a life-span of 100 years... I'm still a baby.

It's funny how fear takes over sometimes. I once was listening to two of my student workers talking to each other, yes... I would sometimes eaves drop, and one was talking about how he probably wouldn't do something because of all these reasons that really attributed to fear and the other replied by saying,

"Are you really going to let fear control and dominate that much?"

I loved it so much, I wrote it down. It's true, too many times I let fear or the idea of failure deter me from trying and I shouldn't. I'm going to miss learning from them.

When I got accepted to this humanitarian trip, fear started to settle in and I questioned if I should even be going... maybe I didn't want to go?! I told my sister about this and she told me the same thing she tells my 11-year-old niece, her daughter, who suffers from anxiety, "Being scared is part of life, but you can't let it hold you back. Doing it, even though you're scared, is what helps you learn and grow and become better and be happy."

Here are some of the things in my life that I was terrified to even try, but I did, and I have never regretted it:

Student Government

In junior high I watched the student body officers and saw all the opportunities they had to do. The thing that interested me the most were the events they got to plan; assemblies and dances and more. I was hesitant if I should even run; I wasn't in the "cool" group, I was shy, but I also wanted to try. I ran to be an SBO and lost but the next week was class officer elections and I decided to try again and... I made it! 9th grade class vice president. The following year I ran for Sophomore class office and made it. The next year I ran for Junior class office and lost. Then came time for elections for my Senior year this was my last chance. As I filled out the SBO ballot with my name on it, I looked at the other names and was convinced I had lost; there were so many names who were backed by talent or popularity or both. To my surprise I won and embarked on such a hard but fun Senior year experience.

Some failures and some wins, some hard times and some great times; I was terrified to run for student government and then it became a huge part in wrapping up my grade school career. I learned how much I love to plan and organize events (and even more, learned how to plan and organize them), and made some great friends.

The A-Team

My sophomore year of college I started with a life bucket list and one of the ones was to apply for the A-Team, new student orientation staff at USU. I had spent my Freshman year not getting involved, just going to class, and watching movies with a boyfriend. It was time to make some changes and do something meaningful. I thought this would be a one year thing, if I made it, and then I would try another thing the next year. I made it! The first year I loved it for the students I got to help as they prepared to start school but then two student coordinators (leaders on the A-Team) graduated and my boss called and encouraged me to apply for one of the positions. This took me out of my comfort zone, I had spent my first year just blending in and not trying to stand out, how could I be a leader? Once again, I decided to just try and I soon became a student coordinator for two more years and I absolutely loved it. I loved getting to see the business side of the student orientation, doing left brain work in the office, but most of all encouraging my teammates and teaching them how to best help new students. Of course, with all things, it came with it's challenges but it is what made my college years their best.

I learned leadership on the A-Team; how to work as a team and to utilize everyone's strengths to make the team perfect as a group. I learned to love my education and learned that I wanted to help others learn to love to learn. I learned customer service... oh man did I learn customer service (you really loose hope in humanity when you are working in customer service).And I wasn't just on a team... they were my college family.

Backpacking Through Peru

In 2013 I had just quit a job and decided to travel for the rest of the year before starting another job. A friend of mine has always had a dream to go to Peru and was looking for a buddy to go with her. I said yes... why not? This trip took me completely out of my comfort zone and it, once again, terrified me but it also will always be one my favorite life experiences. It was my first time visiting a 3rd world country, I didn't know the language (often times my friend would be speaking to someone about an excursion or a place to stay in Spanish and then she would turn to me and ask, "Are you ok with that?" Hahaha, well since I didn't understand the conversation, as long as you didn't sell me into slavery, I'm in), I embraced being dirty for days in a row, I learned how to take a cold shower, it was my first time staying in hostels, and the list continues on.

Just a three week experience and I learned a lot. I learned how to let go, forget myself, and really see the places you are in. I learned so much from my friend and admired so many of her great qualities on this trip; her humility, fearlessness, selflessness, joy in the moment, and truly being grateful for the things we saw or did. I learned that I truly do have SO much in my life and am blessed in SO many ways. I also learned living simply and making life less chaotic is important.
Peru

There are more, but this is getting WAY too long.

I needed this reminder and wanted to share it with you. Stop letting fear take control. Learn to do things even if you are scared. No regrets or at least give yourself the opportunities for regrets. Terrified... bring it on!

Book Review: Peter Pan

"Second star to the right and straight on 'til morning."

I'm plugging away at my 2015 reading list like an elephant, one bite at a time. The next book checked off the list is Peter Pan. Check!

"If growing up means it would be beneath my dignity to climb a tree, I'll never grow up"

This book had it's own creative way of speaking to the reader; it was very poetic and also had a very youthful way telling a story. There were many times when things were explained and it was described in such a way as if a child were explaining it to you. It was a fun reminder of how we look at life and the world differently at different stages in our life.

"I'm not young enough to know everything."

There was one interesting moment in the book where Peter was wrapping a parcel and he was trying to tie it with a string but the string was not long enough to wrap around it and so Peter got mad and kicked the parcel. The narrator then explained that technically it was not the parcel's fault but it was the string's fault for not being long enough. How many times in life do we get wrong at something that it is not the problem, only because it is easier than getting upset at the actual problem?

"We are all failures - at least the best of us are"

I would recommend reading the book, it was different but still enjoyable. It was beautiful and sad. I loved that is was full of wonder, magic and imagination. I also loved the fun, thought provoking, quotes throughout the book.

"God gave us memory so that we might have roses in December."

I've always wanted to read Peter Pan because I have a little love of Peter Pan and Neverland. Because of this love, I wonder if I could have forced myself to love the book. I grew up playing make believe in the backyard of a childhood friend's yard and we would spend hours for days during the summer running around, jumping on his tramp, and flying off to Neverland. He was always Peter Pan and I was always Tiger Lilly (I didn't like Wendy much when I was little. She was a "Sissy.") I love the idea that Neverland is an example of adventure, being true to your self, and imagination.

"Those who bring sunshine to the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves."

Life seemed unstoppable when we were young, but as we get older it seems to have more possibilities but also more restrictions. I love books like this because it is a reminder life is beautiful and it doesn't have to be hard. This read was another reminder to not take life so seriously and not to be afraid to do the impossible. One fun thought about the book was how the island of Neverland and it's characters were representations of life. The pirates represented adulthood while the lost boys represented childhood and they constantly were chasing each other around the island (also the shape of a clock, representing time). Just as we as children couldn't wait to grown up and sometimes as adults we are jealous of children; we're always chasing the other.

"Dreams do come true, if only we wish hard enough. You can have anything in life if you will sacrifice everything else for it"

 

The particular book that I read had the most amazing artwork; it went right along with the magic and the youthful writing. Just a fun extra tid bit.

"All the world is made of faith, and trust, and pixie dust."

Time Capsule

If you were to make a time capsule today, to be opened in ten years, what would you put inside of it?

In January of 2000 we had just survived Y2K and I made a time capsule for 10 years, however I did not open it until 12 years later and am now blogging about it 15 years later. It was funny to see the things I had predicted as a 12 year old and how UN-practical some of my predictions were.

Items in the Capsule:

Well the capsule had some random items, some things I predicted for my future written out, a letter from my mom and lots of pictures.

Most recent family photo at the time

1st day of school

 These guys were my first friends growing up and a few months before this capsule Mark, in the middle, passed away. I remember this picture being a big comfort at the time. I suppose I put it in the capsule so that I would never forget him.

 Best friend

 6th grade photos (school and dance)

 Funny that I put a KitKat in the capsule but yet I listed 100 Grand as my most favorite candy bar. Perhaps I ate the 100 Grand I planned to put in the capsule.

Clearly a foreshadow to my poetry talents. I still don't like being called Amy M. today if there are multiple Amys. I rather be called by a nick name or Amy Jo.

 My most favorite bookmark (it was a huge sacrifice to put it in the time capsule) and a Beanie Baby (I was obsessed).

Things I predicted:

• I will be married to Andrew Payne. (Best friend since the diapers days and still a great friend today; and I love his wife - they are perfect together)
• I was married in the Jordan River temple. (That's funny, today I want it to be the Salt Lake Temple)
• I will have 4 children. (I wish someone would have explained to me that even though it is a good goal to know how many kids I wanted, having 4 by 22 years old was not practical at all)
• I will be living in Utah County (Yikes!)
• I will have a career in teaching. (The ironic thing about this is, I started college wanting nothing to do with teaching and today I love to do it whenever I get the chance. Should have stuck with my 12 year old guns.)
• The biggest accomplishment in my life so far will be getting a horse or a big house. (Ha! Still working on the horse and I would rather a small house; though I do like to entertain so maybe a small house BUT with a big place in the house to gather friends and family)
• I will have graduated from Utah State University. (Bingo! I did one thing I predicted.)

Just another example life does not go as planned but as long as we're working hard and doing our best; life still is good.

Things that were my "favorites" at the time (and what they are today):
Book: Someone Was Watching (The Secret Garden and Harry Potter series)
Sport: Dance (Dance)
Season of the Year: Summer (Summer and Fall)
Holiday: Christmas (Christmas Eve)
Family Trip: Florida (Florida, Hawaii)
Place to Visit: Uintas (Boston, NYC, and anywhere my passport will take me)
Clothes Store: Limited 2 (Banana Republic, JCrew, Anthropology, Nordstrom, H&M)
Scripture: 1 Nephi 2:3 (D&C 121:7-8)
Musical Group: Disney (Matt and Kim, OneRepublic, Angels and Airwaves, Coldplay, The Queen Bee ;), Flo Rida, Ingrid Michaelson, TSwift, Tegan and Sara, and pretty much anything from soundtracks and musicals)
Fast Food: Arby's (Jimmy Johns)
Candy Bar: 100 Grand (Take 5)
Car: Bug (Audi TT or Subaru Crosstrek)
Movie: Robin Hood Men in Tights (Sandlot, Sound of Music, Shawshank Redemption, Pitch Perfect, Remember the Titans, Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland, Lord of the Rings, and Finding Neverland)
TV Show: FRIENDS (FRIENDS, Gilmore Girls, Arrow, and How I Met Your Mother)

A few excerpts from the letter from my mom:
"Right now you are 12 years old and excited about everything (except now and then your brother, Nathan!). You are in the sixth grade at Horizon Elementary and in Miss Mitchell's class. You love art, dance, horses, reading and being with your friends! You are very dramatic and love to pretend."

"You love the movie, Robin Hood Men in Tights, and have a great English accent when repeating lines from the movie! You are always smiling and on the go trying your best in everything you do."

"I wonder if you still like art. You are so creative and do such a beautiful job on everything you do. And what about dance? I hope you still enjoy it as much as you do now. You are a wonderful dancer and I never grow tired of watching you on stage! Speaking of "the stage" I wouldn't be surprised if you have been in a school play or two by now! You are quite the dramatic little actress always dressing up in something crazy like my long skirt, jackets, hats, shawls or Hawaiian wraps."

"You have always been so concerned about those less fortunate than yourself, the homeless, and those that need a friend. Every night you pray from the homeless and ask Heavenly Father to help them have a home someday."

"You love lists, making and working on goals, and getting things done. There is usually a list of things by your bed that you are working on and you love to cross things off when they are done."

So I ask again, if you were to make a time capsule today, to be opened in ten years, what would you put inside of it?

What I want to put in my next time capsule:

• Another list of things I would like to predict in the next 10 years.
• Personal and historic
• Another list of my favorite things right now.
• A CD of songs that are my favorite right now. (Ha, will we even know what CDs are in 10 years?) AND/OR songs that I would love to choreograph dances to.
• Picture of my family.
• Picture of friends.
• List of places I hope to travel to in my lifetime.
• $2 bill (ha, why not).
• Life bucket list.
• An old cell phone or iPod.

The MBTI Personality Test

So, I really like personality tests. I just think they are fun but also I think they are a great reminder that we are all different and that is ok. This world is awesome because it is filled with differences. Every year my student staff takes the following personality test and then we discuss it. I thought I would share with you what I teach and discuss with them.

First: Take the test here: MBTI - Myers Briggs Test
The outcome of the test can sometimes be different if you take it multiple times, that's ok. Sometimes your results are different when you take the test at work and then at home or it changes over the years as you change and grow. I have been ENFJ, ENTJ, ISFJ and INFJ over a span of 8 years and taking the test four times. The older I get the more introvert I become.

p.s. If you get "J" for Judging, that is not a bad thing. The first time I took the test as a student and I got "judging," I was mortified and kept trying to retake the test to get a different answer but I kept getting "J." I'll explain what it means below.

Curious about how much money you should be making based off of your personality? Click here to find out.

What do each of the letters mean:

E and I: Extraverts and Introverts
E - Sociable, Energized through interactions with others, Need to express their thoughts, and turn their attention outward. Extraverts are interactors and "on the fly" thinkers. Their motto is: Ready. Fire. Aim.
I - Prefer privacy, more likely to listen to others, may only tell trusted people what they really think or feel. Introverts can be sociable but need quiet to recharge their batteries. Introverts want to understand the world and tend to be concentrators and reflective thinkers.

 

S and N: Sensors and iNtuitive
S - Practical, Detail Oriented, Realistic
Sensors tend to rely on their five senses. They are detailed oriented, want facts and trust them. They are practical (being grounded is what is natural), like details (there is satisfaction from taking care of all the little things) and are realistic (they are in tune with the reality of the situation they find themselves in).
N - Innovative, Big Picture, Imaginative
Intuitives like to seek out patterns and relationships among the facts they have gathered. They trust hunches and their intuition and look for the "big picture." Because they are focused on the "Big Picture" details are often missed or ignored. Ns more commonly can't remember where they parked their car because they were too busy thinking of their "mission." If Ns are asked to describe a picture shown to them, they will tell you a little about the subject but then they will use their imagination to tell you what might have happened next or something imagined about the relationships of the people in the picture.

Fun Fact: Albert Einstein was a "N." He had a fanciful thought process with his experiments; he could see patterns where others saw randomness and chaos.

F and T: Feeling and Thinker
F - Personable, Value Harmony, Energized through appreciation and encouragement.
Feelers focus on human values and needs as they make decisions. They tend to be good at persuasion and facilitating difference among group members. Fs are more likely to wear their heart on their sleeve, however, if they are an introvert they will not open up with sharing their feelings with just anyone.
T - Value Fairness, logical, not likely to show emotions.
Thinkers like to make decisions based on analysis, logic and principle. Thinkers value fairness. In school, thinkers like clear course and topic objectives. Thinkers of course feel emotion but do no like to show it, it can even be embarrassing when emotion comes out.

J and P: Judging and Perceptive
J - Planners, goal oriented, likes deadlines, tend to literally know what time it is.
Judgers are decisive, planners and self regimented. They focus on the task and only want to know the essentials and take action quickly. Deadlines are sacred. If a teacher at school extended a due date for a project on the day it was originally due, Js are typically annoyed by this action.
P - Curious, Adaptable, Spontaneous, Laid Back
Perceivers usually start many tasks, want to know everything about the task, and often find it difficult to complete a task. Deadlines are meant to be stretched. Percievers often postpone doing an assignment until the very last minute. They are not lazy, quite the contrary; they seek information to the very last minute.

Teaching it to my student workers:

Observing a Picture with Ss and Ns:
I split the room in half and had the Ss sit on one side and Ns on the other. I then showed them this image for 30 seconds and asked them only to observe it. Once the 30 seconds was over I then had them take another 30 seconds to write down what they saw and then we shared our findings with the class.
Ss listed the following things found: butterfly, drain pipe, bee/insect thing, etc.
Ns listed the following things found: summer day, red butterfly, bee flying off to go get pollen or something.

J and P planning a trip to Disneyland
This exercise is by far my most favorite of the entire discussion because their personalities come bursting out and it truly shows the difference between the two groups. I split the class up into Js and Ps and then have each of those groups split up into sub groups of 4-7. My student staff is usually dominated by Js every year and so usually I have one, maybe two, groups of Ps and then about 7 groups of Js. I then give them 5 minutes to plan a trip to Disneyland. I have to keep myself from laughing while I observe these 5 minutes because its so "typical." The Ps just sit casually and look as if they are just lounging and having a casual conversation and then the Js are talking quickly and excitedly to get in all they have to say before the time is up and they usually have a pen and paper out taking notes as they discuss.

When the time is up I ask each group to share the trip they have planned. The Ps are very vague in their details and usually share things like, "go to Disneyland, stay at a hotel, ride the rides we want to ride, maybe go to the beach one day," etc. The Js have the trip planned out to a T; they know exactly how they will get to Disneyland, where they will be staying, what exact days they'll go to the park, which rides they will ride first, which rides they'll get fast passes to, which days they'll take a break and go to the beach, and sometimes even which parades or shows they will attend and what foods they'll have to make time to eat.

This year one of my P groups plan was to take a train from Salt Lake to San Francisco, because it sounded like fun, and then they would just figure out how to get to Anaheim from there. I thought my Js were all going to have a heart attack.

The discussion:

The discussion is usually just about 4-5 questions I have for them but it usually last about 45 minutes, at least, as they all share their thoughts and opinions. I start out by asking them, "why do we take personality test," and they spend a lot of time talking about how it is important to recognizing the difference in others, to not let it upset you when someone works differently than you, and to see them as strengths, etc.

I take some time to talk to the about not using their "personality traits" as an excuse. For example, just because you are P, it doesn't mean it is ok to disregard deadlines and let others down. Or just because you are an I it doesn't mean you don't know how to public speak. We can all work on our traits and still use them to our advantage.

We also talk about how we can use this information to better work as a team and to better serve the new students we help throughout the summer. The great thing is, they do all the talking and do an amazing job at teaching each other.

All of my information has been found from Common Careers for Personality Types, Wilson's Newer Views of Learning, Master Teacher Program: Learning Personalities and the book Just Your Type by Paul D. Tieger and Barbara Barron-Tieger.

Sometimes People ask me "Why?"

So, I'm still single. And I'm ok with that. I mean, yes, I am very excited to be married and have kids, however, I'm not going to mope around until I find my guy. I haven't found him yet and until I do I will continue to live life, learn and grow.

A few days before Valentines someone said to me, "I bet this time of the year, especially this month and even week, can be especially hard for you." Haha, umm no person who knows me very little, thank you for saying this very out of the blue thing. I'm pretty sure I'm single every other day of the year, not just on Valentines. However, from this conversation I started to think of reasons of why I maybe am still single. I usually can't think of any HUGE deal breakers, I honestly just don't think I've found the guy yet that we can both be our full self around and we love each other for it. But I did start to think of some funny reasons of why I could still be single. Please enjoy my brainstorming session.

Reasons why I am probably still single

1. My nieces and nephews are probably praying that I will never get married so that they may have me all to themselves and Heavenly Father is answering their prayers and not mine. Let's be honest, they're way cuter than I am so I don't blame him for siding with them.
2. I love to travel which means I am not around a lot. What guy wants to go out with a girl who says yes to a date but then adds on, "but I'm going to Peru for a few weeks and so I won't be able to go out until I get back." Yeah, he's pretty much dating your Frienemy when you get home from the trip. His loss.
3. I rather hang out with my mom than go out and be social. Doesn't mean I don't make an effort to go out, I'm just kind of over the random crazy parties where you meet lots of random people. I rather spend time with my mom, family or close friends.
4. I haven't kissed in so long that I'm pretty sure I have reverted back to VL. I am TERRIFIED to kiss again. Maybe I'll practice on my arm ;)
5. I am getting old enough that I am no longer the cute adorable fluffy energetic puppy dog at the pound. I am the older, mature, potty trained dog. Which dog would you choose? Puppy or old dog? Yeah, I would probably choose the puppy as well. "But I'm potty trained guys! Common!"
6. On a regular basis I get people telling me about someone they want to set me up with. For weeks, even months, they'll talk this person up and how they're so excited to have us meet AND THEN NOTHING EVER HAPPENS... it's getting old people. Either give the guy my number... or don't and let it end.
7. I have a theory that the man I am supposed to marry died. Now I have totally told this as a joke but what if I said this SO MUCH that the universe made it happen?! Yikes
8. Someone recently told me that dating is like Jumanji, you have to keep playing the game to get out of the game. Some times I REALLY hate the game but it's true... I can't stop playing. (Even though sometimes I want to, ugh.)
9. Umm... all the good guys are gone... hence the video...

Literally Peacocking

Something I love to do is dance. Weather it is an organized dance company preparing for a performance or a group fitness class OR just dancing at a school dance or at a friend's party or with my nieces at family dinner or in my bedroom in front of the mirror. Oh dear! Did I just admit to dancing in from of my mirror when alone?! You better believe it.

A few weeks ago my roommates and I watched Pitch Perfect and when the movie ended and the credits started the music was great dancing music and I started dancing and said, "Aw, I just want to go dancing!" and one of my roommates replied, "Let's go!" I was shocked because she usually isn't one to want to go dancing. To test out how serious she was I said, "Well, the university (where I work) is throwing a Mask Ball this weekend, want to crash it?" To my surprise she said, "Let's do it!" Honestly I was a little worried about going because I didn't want to run into my student workers and be that weird person who is creepy who can't move on from the college "fun" scene BUT if she was willing to go dancing, I was ready to make it happen.

We got masks and spray-painted them sparkly silver, bought boas and wore black dresses. It was the easiest Mask Ball put together outfit.

At the dance we went all out. We didn't care what anyone thought and we danced as crazy as we wanted. The masks were great for being mysterious and unrecognizable (but really, my student workers didn't recognize me... at first. It wasn't until one that I am close with was like, "Amy?" and then they all got excited that it was me and danced with my roommate and I for a few songs), but by far the best part of dancing at the Mask Ball were our boas. Genius! It was fun to dance around flapping them about.

Through out the dance we kept having guys come and dance with us and then ask for our numbers. That has NEVER happened before. One, I really think it is because we were dancing without caring what anyone thought but TWO those boas were real attention getters. I think just being sassy and flipping our boas back and forth or side to side was catching their eyes. Heaven knows we sure were getting the feathers IN OUR eyes.

It wasn't until later that I realized the true theory behind all this attention from the guys... we were peacocking! LITERALLY! Feathers and all!

The funny thing is, with our masks on and being tiny girls, I know those guys had no idea how old we were. Talk about robbing the cradle inadvertently.

p.s. I've learned over the years that I look "so good" dancing when I don't care what anyone thinks and so I go with that attitude and have a blast. However, if you are someone who likes to dance but gets shy when dancing in public, grab a boa... it's fun, boosts your confidence and gives you something to use for movement while you are dancing and don't know what else to do.

Book Reviews: How to Win Friends and Influence People, Inside the Magic Kingdom and The Servant

A few more reviews from my readings from my 2014 reading list. I decided to group together my reviews of the books that I read with the purpose of improving my employee/employer self.

How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie
I enjoyed this book, it was an easy read and a good reminder of the simple things you should be doing anyways when working with others and even more simply how to best treat others. As I was reading the book I kept thinking, I used to be good at that but I need to start to practice it again, I try to do that, etc. It was nice to see that I already practice some of these things but also a reminder of what I desperately need to work on. It was also fun to think of others in my life that I admire and think, "They are so good at this." A lot of the topics in this book talk about being sincere, being positive, lifting others up, being genuine, challenging yourself and more. There are three sections of principles in the book and at the end of each section the principles for that set are listed for a nice review. I would recommend this book.
My dad loves this book and I can actually see a lot of things from this book that he has been teaching myself and my siblings while we grew up in his home.

Inside the Magic Kingdom by Tom Connellan
This was not on the list but we read it for work and I absolutely loved it. It is written in story format and it is basically tells how Disney run's their customer service. It is amazing how Disney looks at every little detail and how it puzzles together the big picture and they have a team attitude among all of their employees. Nobody is too high up to have to stop and pick up some trash because the main goal of the organization is to make sure their customers have the best experience they can have; it's a very selfless environment. It was really neat to read about the little details that Disney takes care of in their parks each night to make sure that whether it is your first time at DisneyWorld or your 20th time, the park and environment is still at it's best; for example: re-painting posts in the park every night and scientifically measuring the moisture in the air to make sure they are finished painting by a certain time so that the paint is dry by the time the park re-opens in the morning.
This is a fast read, very fun and extremely interesting. After reading the book I wanted to go work for Disney.

The Servant: A Simple Story about Leadership by James Hunter
This book was also written in story format and I loved this one as well. The main idea of this book is to lead others by loving them. When we treat others with love and respect, they will be more willing to follow and do what they have been asked to do. As I read this book I thought a lot about the student leaders that I lead and those that I have taken the time to love and sacrifice for are those who work even harder. Something else I liked about this book is it stresses that you can demand authority and manipulate people for what you want but that will only last for so long; it is love and service that will last a life time. One of my coworkers is very good at manipulation and he openly talks about it and how he will very carefully word his conversations with others to get what he wants. All this has done for me is to be very cautious around him and almost question when he is being sincere of if he is just trying to get something out of me that he wants. It has been a lesson to me to be sincere with others and to always look for win-win situations when I need to negotiate things.
This was a quick read and a good reminder of how to conduct my self everyday and with everyone... not just in the work place.

It Means I Love You

When I was little, one day at church I was sitting next to my mom on our pew trying to hold still, but really wanting to be wiggling, dancing, playing and well whatever else a tiny person wants to be doing, when I noticed on the back of my mom's hand this little dark pink dot over one of her blood vessels and I quietly asked my mom what it was. She bent over and whispered in my ear that if I pressed it would go away. Sure enough, after I lightly pressed it, it disappeared.

I immediately looked up at my mom, wide-eyed, worried as to where it had gone. She then bent over again and said, "If it comes back, it means I love you." Slowly the red mark reappeared and I looked up at my mom with a huge smile on my face because it came back and that meant something. Throughout my childhood I would often touch my mom's pink dot to see if it would ever not come back but it always did. It was a constant reminder that I was loved.

My mom never treated my siblings and I like we were more important than others, no, she taught us to love others, look for the good in them and appreciate their differances. My mom never spoiled us, but instead taught us how to work hard for the things we got in life. BUT she always made sure we knew we were loved, in so many ways. My mom raised my siblings and I with so much love; a home full of love. I can't wait to one day do the same for my kids.

I was actually rock-climbing at a gym a few weeks ago and was climbing a more challenging route and tried to jump to a hold but instead missed it and some how cut the back of my hand during my fall. The scab that formed on the back of my hand was in the same place and shape as my mom's little pink dot. I actually secretly hoped it would turn into my own pink dot. But it didn't. Oh well, I'll just have to figure out and different subtle way to constantly tell my kids I love them.

Oh Jimmy

When I went to live with my friend for a month in Connecticut we attended the Yale YSA branch and were instantly engulfed into their "family" unit. It was fun to get to know and spend time with all of these people from around the US who were attending college, employed as nannies or born and raised in the area. One of these fine, but interesting, people was Jimmy. Jimmy was a very kind but innocently honest person and it became a very funny thing with my friend and I.

At one church event I was sitting, eating, and talking with a group of people and Jimmy came up behind me and looked down at the top of my head and announced, "Oh wow Amy! You sure do have a lot of grey hairs on your head."

Another time I was talking to Jimmy and when I was in the middle of a sentence he interrupted me and said, "Umm, you have this glob of mascara or something on your cheek, Yuck." and then he made a fake gagging sound.

And there is a hilarious trail of these incidences.

Now you may think, this person sounds so stupid and rude but honestly we found it comical because we were pretty sure Jimmy didn't realize how awkward and rude these comments and moments were. He was just innocently honest but had a heart of gold. It soon became a thing with us to say, "Guess what Jimmy said..." haha and then we would reply with a chuckle-sigh and say, "Oh Jimmy,"

I sure do miss my "Jimmy" moments. And I really want to make it a thing to say, "Oh Jimmy" when someone does something that's maybe slightly socially awkward or acceptable and then laugh/shrug it off, rather than get your feathers ruffled.

Jimmy and I bowling on my 26th birthday.

2015 You Will Be The Year That I Read!

This is getting sad, there are some books on this list that have been repeating on this list for YEARS... it's getting embarrassing. Here's the proof: 2014's List

I have to admit, I watch TV when I need to vedge and I really should do something that's enjoyable but builds more character and exercises my brain. I actually made a goal back in October to finish up 3 shows I have been watching on netflix, pathetic I know, and then to swear of "TV" until I finish the below list. After that I'm going to allow myself to watch some TV but my plan is to be more balanced with TV and reading or of course other things.

Of course if someone wants to go to a movie or watch some TV while hanging out I'm ok with that but I need to stop spending the alone time that I sometimes crave by watching TV and instead do the things I always wish I made time for.

Here's my reading list for the year:

Books I have started but have not finished:

The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexander Dumas

Mediation and the Atonement of Christ by John Taylor

The Three Musketeers by Alexander Dumas

Books to Read this year

Deception Point by Dan Brown

Utopia by Sir Thomas More

The Scarlet Pimpernel by Baroness Orczy

The Tipping Point by Malcolm Gladwell

The Servant by James C. Hunter

Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte

Les Miserables by Victor Hugo

Twenty Years After by Alexander Dumas

Peter Pan by J.M. Barrie

Little Women by Louisa May Alcott

Books I would like to read but only if I miraculously finish the above books this year:

Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy

War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy

Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens

Bossy Pants by Tina Fey

Believing Christ by Stephen E. Robinson

As a Man Thinketh by James Allen

Serena by Ron Rash

Probably a teen novel... why not ;)

Book Review: Divergent Series

Oh look! Three more books I read in 2014 that were not on my reading list. I should feel good that I got so many books in; even if they weren't on the list. Life is better that way anyways, right? I went and saw the Divergent movie with my roommates and I really enjoyed it which I was worried I would be a little lost watching it, having not read the book. But after the movie I was intrigued enough, I wanted to read the book. Plus the guy who played Four (Theo James) was hot... here take a gander:

I needed an escape from work but it had to be a quick easy read and Divergent fit the bill; just something I could quickly read a chapter or two before bed. I read Divergent in about 10 days and I liked it a lot more than The Hunger Games. Once I read Divergent I had to find out what happened next and how the series concluded and so I continued on. It took me longer to read Insurgent and Allegiant because I had gotten even busier with work that it was either sleep or read... I choose sleep. However, the 2nd and 3rd book didn't draw me in like Divergent had, I only kept reading out of curiosity but not out of being pulled in to books with a 100% page-turner style. HOWEVER, they were entertaining enough that I wanted to keep reading.

The series is about a post-apocalyptic world set in Chicago. The society has learned to survive by dividing the people into 5 factions (groups): Abnegation - the selfless and always putting other's needs before their own, Erudite - the curious and intelligent, Dauntless - the brave and courageous, Amity - the peaceful (they make me think of hippie tree-huggers), and Candor - the honest (to a fault sometimes).

The book is centered around Tris (Beatrice), who is Abnegation born, and it begins with the time in her life where she is old enough to choose to remain in Abnegation for the rest of her life or if she will choose to transfer to another faction. Everyone her age takes a test to help them know which faction they would do best in, the only problem is she gets results for three factions which can only mean one thing: Tris is Divergent. Nobody can know she is Divergent or else she will be killed; but why?! I guess you'll have to read to find out.

I really like Tris' character, she has a strong personality without being flashy. I like that she is determined to go for the things that are true to herself and is brave enough to make hard decisions, even though she knows it will crush her parents for her to transfer to a different faction she feels more connected with, she still has compassion and concern for them, she also knows that it is important to be a little selfish and go where she knows she can use her true talents and be happy.

With this being a teen novel of course there is a "love" story within the trilogy. But that's ok, it's a good love story without a lot of mushy-gushy-ness. The love interest is between Tris and her Divergent trainer (no worries, he's only a few years older than she is), Four. I think the reason why I really enjoy this love interest is because Four is attracted to Tris for her independence and he let's her be independent. They become a team together and lift and build each other up.

Divergent
The first of the books sets up the intriguing plot. Tris chooses to transfer to Dauntless and she trains to be a member of Dauntless... not without it's challenges and extreme competitiveness. Transferring to Dauntless makes it incredible difficult to hide her Divergent identity and even puts her in danger.

Insurgent
War breaks out between factions and choosing sides will be tricky. Some factions are after the Divergent members of the society and others want to protect. But why does everyone care so much if the Divergent live or die? The cliff-hanger at the end of this books reveals a lot.

Allegiant
When offered the chance to leave the city and explore the unknown land outside of it, Tris and Four with others take the chance. They come to see a whole new reality of where they came from and they even find themselves among new challenges and questioning the nature of humanity. The first two books are told from Tris' prospective but this book is told from Tris and Four's prospective which actually gets a little confusing at times if you forget who's voice you are reading.

One of the thing I liked about this series were some of the though provoking and truthful quotes. The following is a quote by Four and I think it is a simple reminder that we are all hurting and being challenged in some way, usually in ways that others don't even know, and so we need to remember that whom ever we are with, we are there to help each other.

"Since I was young, I have always know this: Life Damges us, everyone. We can't escape that damage. But now, I am also learning this: We can be mended. We mend each other."

2014! You've already come and gone?!

Disclaimer
This post is more honest than usual and so it probably will sound like I am super depressed but I am not, I am just fine. I just thought I might show a little of "I'm human and not perfect." I truly am so blessed in my life and have so much to be grateful for... which I am grateful for those blessings.

Review
2014 was not my finest or proudest year. I cried a lot this year, oh man a lot. I complained a lot this year. I doubted myself a lot this year. I lost a lot of confidence this year. My job requires a lot of over time to keep things functioning and to run a good and respectable program; with that came with a lot of nights of limited sleep, quick snarffing meals at my desk, cutting out working out, random to few social interactions with people outside of my job, turning down big church callings, and the list runs on. My life was my job this year; for better and for worse. I felt selfish this year as I got lonely and kept thinking about all the little every day to day things I never got to do because there wasn't time.

But with the bad there was some incredible "goods" this year. I worked harder than I have ever worked. I got small glimpses of what it will be like to be a mom being the boss of 42 student workers and even though it can be hard and frustrating, it was also extremely rewarding to help/watch them overcome small to big challenges and even more when they couldn't wait to share the experience with me. Even more was getting to learn from each of them, laugh with them, and even though they were my 42 employees I love them as if they were my own. I wouldn't trade the opportunity to be a mom some day for anything else.

I decided to go 100 days without Facebook over the summer and I absolutely loved it. It was almost refreshing not to read on a daily basis what people were eating for breakfast, what was the next thing to complain about or even just what everyone else was up to in their lives. I even missed the whole ice water bucket challenge and so glad I did. It was also nice to fill my time with other things. The only thing I missed was maybe learning about big events in other's lives but for the ones that truly mattered I found out in other ways. I think I am going to do this again this year!

My parents had to put our dog Jessie down. She was getting so old (15-years-old); blind, deaf and she was starting to look like she was in so much pain. It was time, she needed to be put down but that didn't make it any less sad. I'm missing her a lot and am SO puppy/dog hungry.

As independent I try to be I was so grateful for my close friends and family this year. Whenever I was about to give up or just needed a little boost I always seemed to get a funny or encouraging text, a thoughtful letter, a casual quick phone call or even a surprise visit. I'm grateful for these people in my life who always remind me to be better.

Travels
I did actually get some traveling in this year and I am so grateful for it; I think it was my escape. These were incredible trips and they were each much needed. It was hard to get excited for my trips because I would have to work up to the very last minute before I left and even more over-time than usual but it was worth the work because I needed the break and it seemed that going far away was the only way I could get a break.
North Carolina with friends

Camping in the Uintahs with my Family

Victoria with my mom

Italy with friends

Favorite Moments of This Year

• Being the boss of all of these incredible people (though I often forgot I was their boss because they are my friends/family):

• Really just the little simple moments of laughter and closeness when being home with my family; I sure love them and am so grateful I have a close family
• Dancing on a beach under the stars in North Carolina
• Finding out that when I am presenting I say, "with that" a lot when I am tying two thoughts together. My staff noticed it this summer and started to take a drink out of their water bottles every time I said "with that" while presenting to students and their parents (Ha, at least it wasn't "umm" or "like.").

Most Visited Blog Posts this Year
Friend Dates
The Realities of an Average Snowboarder
Blogs... They're Kind of Funny
The "Just Like Heaven" Debate
Do we still wonder?

Lessons Learned... I think...
Living an unbalanced life is unhealthy... dur.

I have to keep reminding myself that I need to keep my focus in the right place and remember my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ should be my focus and it won't always make things better but it sure will keep you strong and watched out for.

I need to stop worrying about what I should be doing and wondering if I am being a failure and just have faith that doing my best and keeping my focus in the right place is what is important and things will work out, even if it is not in the way I expect it to.

I need to stop being a perfectionist! Oh my gosh yes! I need to stop worrying about what others think and just be ok being me; no... love being me. I used to be good at this but I had to work hard at it and I think I stopped working hard and went back to worrying about who I was keeping happy and impressing. You know what? Who the heck cares; I'm going to be me and you better like it or hit the highway!

Wrap up
Again this year was hard and I could have had a 200 times better attitude (but that is the beauty of starting a new year: I can try to be better) but I wouldn't trade it for anything.

This next year I want to find time to be a little selfish but I also want to find more time to serve others as well.